There's friends and then there's old friends...
It seems that lately a lot of reality has been smacking me right in the face.
This morning after I sat down to my first cup of coffee an old friend sat down at the counter beside me. I've known Jimmy for over 20 years. We go back at least to 3 or 4 other coffee counters that have long since faded into the horizon. We've talked and laughed about everything in our lives. From ex-wives to raising our kids... nothing was ever off limits.
After the hello's and how are ya's, I asked about his partner Patty. He said she was at work. He then said that he hadn't worked in 3 weeks. Well, Jim has had some heart problems in the past and I immediately thought that he'd had another. He then dropped the C word on me (in so many words). It seems that he'd had some chest pain and breathing problems and had made a trip to the hospital. The x-rays (and later camera tests) had verified that he had a 4 inch tumor in his lung.
Just as I was about to ask about treatment, he dropped the O word on me (not that one ladies)... Inoperable. As I was sitting there dumbfounded, he talked right along. It shocked me more when he pulled a paper out with the lung/tumor picture on it. He showed it as proudly as a woman pointing to a sonogram of her baby. I was in shock and he was acting like it was acne.
How should one react when faced with someone else's mortality? I said the obligatory "Sorry to hear this Jim" but I think it went in one ear and out the other. All while he was talking I became very self conscious that I was smoking. Then as it always does, age comes up. I was thinking what the difference was in our ages but really I was mentally subtracting mine from his. It's something that all of us do all the time. It's like we're wanting to know how long we have left. If that's the case, I'd better make the most of the next 12 years.
As I write this, I'm smoking another cigarette. This is seriously making me think about quitting. I have had two other people I loved that died of cancer. While I thought about quitting after both their deaths, I rationalized it because of their ages. My step-dad was 80 and my buddy Paul was in his late 70's. I mentally told myself that they were old enough to die anyway so the cigarettes didn't really contribute to an early departure.
Jim is only 61. While he's no spring chicken, it's certainly below the average for male deaths in the U.S. And it's too close to my age for me to rationalize it. I certainly came to the conclusion four years ago that I was no longer bulletproof. The odd thing now is that it was Patty that convinced me to go to the doctor then. I found out later that I'd only been walking around with a ruptured appendix for over two weeks.
Maybe now it's time for Jim to make his impression on my life.
This morning after I sat down to my first cup of coffee an old friend sat down at the counter beside me. I've known Jimmy for over 20 years. We go back at least to 3 or 4 other coffee counters that have long since faded into the horizon. We've talked and laughed about everything in our lives. From ex-wives to raising our kids... nothing was ever off limits.
After the hello's and how are ya's, I asked about his partner Patty. He said she was at work. He then said that he hadn't worked in 3 weeks. Well, Jim has had some heart problems in the past and I immediately thought that he'd had another. He then dropped the C word on me (in so many words). It seems that he'd had some chest pain and breathing problems and had made a trip to the hospital. The x-rays (and later camera tests) had verified that he had a 4 inch tumor in his lung.
Just as I was about to ask about treatment, he dropped the O word on me (not that one ladies)... Inoperable. As I was sitting there dumbfounded, he talked right along. It shocked me more when he pulled a paper out with the lung/tumor picture on it. He showed it as proudly as a woman pointing to a sonogram of her baby. I was in shock and he was acting like it was acne.
How should one react when faced with someone else's mortality? I said the obligatory "Sorry to hear this Jim" but I think it went in one ear and out the other. All while he was talking I became very self conscious that I was smoking. Then as it always does, age comes up. I was thinking what the difference was in our ages but really I was mentally subtracting mine from his. It's something that all of us do all the time. It's like we're wanting to know how long we have left. If that's the case, I'd better make the most of the next 12 years.
As I write this, I'm smoking another cigarette. This is seriously making me think about quitting. I have had two other people I loved that died of cancer. While I thought about quitting after both their deaths, I rationalized it because of their ages. My step-dad was 80 and my buddy Paul was in his late 70's. I mentally told myself that they were old enough to die anyway so the cigarettes didn't really contribute to an early departure.
Jim is only 61. While he's no spring chicken, it's certainly below the average for male deaths in the U.S. And it's too close to my age for me to rationalize it. I certainly came to the conclusion four years ago that I was no longer bulletproof. The odd thing now is that it was Patty that convinced me to go to the doctor then. I found out later that I'd only been walking around with a ruptured appendix for over two weeks.
Maybe now it's time for Jim to make his impression on my life.
posted by OpinionatedSOBinTN at 3:20 PM
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